![]() Why are you crying?"Īlena Scigliano, a licensed psychotherapist, author, and clinical expert in narcissistic abuse, told Insider many of the phrases that pathological narcissists use fall under the manipulative tactic category she refers to as "distraction." "Aren't I more important to you than your friends?" "My friends hate you, but I always defend you and have your back." By pretending they can still be loving, the narcissist makes their victim believe the insults are their own fault.ĭuring this phase narcissists may utter some of these phrases: They suddenly criticize things about the partner that they once seemed to love - everything they say is part of their scheme to shatter their partner's confidence.īut the nastiness is intertwined with some affection, because the narcissist knows they have to keep up the illusion that the relationship is worth saving. This is where the insults and put-downs start slipping into what they say. Once a narcissist has hooked their victim, they start showing their true self. Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders.
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